Words are powerful. Some words are destructive while others are empowering. Think about how a compliment can make you feel wonderful while a snide remark can really put a damper on your day.
I never realized how much impact words had in our lives until I read the book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. If you haven’t read the book, I highly recommend you do.
I could go on and on about this great book but today, I want to focus on words that either make us victims or powerful people. Just realizing the power of words and using a more powerful vocabulary will lead to a more powerful you.
Compare the following phrases to the left vs the right. How do the words on the left make you feel? Are they words you use on a regular basis? What about the ones on the right? Do you see how the words on the left are weak, negative, helpless while the ones on the right are powerful and open the door for growth?
I can’t……………………………………..I won’t
I should…………………………………..I could
It’s not my fault………………………….I’m totally responsible
It’s a problem……………………………It’s an opportunity
Life’s a struggle…………………………Life’s an adventure
I hope…………………………………….I know
If only…………………………………….Next time
Let’s look deeper at a few of the phrases above.
“I can’t” implies that you are not in the driver’s seat and that you have no control in your life. “I won’t” reflects that you are in the driver’s seat and making choices. Everything we do in life is a choice. When we say that we can’t do something, we are actually saying that we are choosing not to do it. Remember that. We always have a choice.
“I should” is one of my favorites. My dear friend Donna loves to correct me when I say I should do something. She tells me to stop shoulding all over myself! How appropriate is that?! Now, when I catch myself saying “should”, I hear Donna’s words and correct my own. I’m amazed at how much stronger I feel when I say I could vs I should.
Think about the implications of taking responsibility. It’s truly empowering. It shows that you are in control, not helpless. When I take responsibility for everything in my life, good or bad, I feel so much stronger and happier. I am no longer angry for any wrong doing that may have ever happened to me. I realize that I experience different outcomes based on the choices I make. This realization was one of the greatest AHA moments in my life.
Close your eyes and think about a time in your life when someone did something that hurt you, that had a negative impact on you. Then circle back to all the decisions you made that led to that disappointment and hurt. Do you see how the outcome would have been completely different had you made different decisions?
Remember the power of words. Be mindful of your words and choose to come from a place of power. You will see how something that may appear so minor can have such an impact on your life.
Words are indeed more powerful than we think, which is why most mindfulness teaching start you off with practices intended to increase your awareness not only of your speech but also your self-talk and your thinking (which often precedes what you say.)
Especially when you say “I am” (something/whatever) you need to understand that you are programming your subconscious mind to believe that thing is an actual fact — and will make sure that’s what happens in your life (even if it’s not something you want.) Wow.
Control your self-talk and you have come a long way towards self-mastery — and towards creating a better life for yourself 🙂
Thanks for a great post!
Words are powerful indeed! Speaking from a mother’s point of view, I find that I have unknowingly started to look at the words on the right when I was coaching my son on day to day stuffs. I have to stay positive to give him positive thoughts when he faces some setbacks of failure in school. Sometimes it takes longer (and more talk) then usual but eventually he gained confidence and is able to try it again.
Wow Nancy! What great insight! Thank you. You are so right. “I am” are probably some of the most powerful words. Whatever you add after that becomes your reality so why not stick to positive statements and thinking?!
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